THE VANDERPLUMES

Self-made wealth, self-righteous about it, and proud of every penny.

The VanderPlumes have a mansion with a fountain, two kids in private school polos, and exactly zero patience for anyone they think didn't earn what they have. Linda and Todd believe handouts ruin people, government assistance is basically theft, and if you can't pull yourself up by your bootstraps, you probably weren't trying hard enough.

They're not cheap — they'll drop a fortune on anything with their name on it — they just believe everyone else should be paying their own way, same as they did. Allegedly.

Cordelia and Baxter are being raised the exact same way: polished, polite, and already lecturing other kids about "personal responsibility" on the playground.