MILES

Hand sanitizer in one pocket, mischief in the other.

Miles won't touch a doorknob without wiping down after, but that hasn't slowed him down one bit when it comes to causing trouble — he just does it cleanly. Pranks get set up with surgical precision, and he's already three rooms away, sanitizing, by the time anyone figures out who did it.

At restaurants he asks for plastic silverware every single time, no exceptions, and just stares down the regular fork like it personally wronged him. Nobody bothers arguing about it anymore.

Every other kid in the house at least knows whose name to blame. Miles got the short straw — he's narrowed it down to one of five guys, and he's in no hurry to close the gap. Says he's "still collecting data."

Quiet, careful, and tougher than the antiseptic smell lets on.